Sam Lipsyte Quotes

“Yes,” said Cooley. “That is the question, as the Bard might say.” “The Bard?” “What’s so funny?” said Cooley. “Nothing, sir,” I said. “I just didn’t know people still used that term.” “Well, I’m a people, Burke. Am I not?” “Of course.” “If you prick me, do I not bleed, you scat-gobbling, mother-rimming prick?” Occasionally Dean Cooley reverted to a vocabulary more suited to his marine years, but some maintained it was only when he felt threatened, or stretched for time. “Yes, sir,” I said.”

“Cure for an obsession: get another one.”

“Living alone makes it harder to find someone to blame.”

“The lonely become either thoughtful or empty.”

“Excuses change nothing, but make everyone feel better.”

“Complainers change their complaints, but they never reduce the amount of time spent in complaining.”

“Romance is tempestuous. Love is calm.”

“At sixty, I know little more about wisdom than I did at thirty, but I know a great deal more about folly.”

“The wisdom of age: don't stop walking.”

“If you call failures experiments, you can put them in your resume and claim them as achievements.”