Autograph Quotes

“I'm such a strong human being. I amaze myself even. If only you knew what I've been up against, you'd want my autograph. I'm a real life superhero.”

“Afternoon experience: autographing exposed legs, outstretched in lines like matchsticks. Afternoon epiphany: Those with smooth, hairless legs would soon lose all evidence of my contact when the sweat causes the ink from the marker to run. I am ephemeral. Skepticism would be the reaction to those with thick leg hair, as their curls frazzle the lines of my name outward illegibly. Among the scaly-legged, I flaked off immediately, like I never was at all.”

“I love my ex so much I printed out all his pictures. After all, I need him for target practice. And I just love customised toilet paper and doormats. My only regret is that those items don't bear his autograph.”

“Autograph your life with a signature of excellence.”

“Hey! Jack the Wanker! Over here! I want your autograph!”

“My mom is still yelling at me because she needs more autographed pictures.”

“You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.”

“If anyone asks for your autograph they're showing you respect and give it back to them.”

“I overreacted to praise, signing an autograph. I'd write a check to buy it back.”