Burrito Quotes

“Eating a burrito is like eating a living, breathing organism - you can feel the burrito's ingredients sigh inside with each bite, each squeeze.”

“I wrapped up the remaining half burrito and tossed it into the trash can. Molly watched this act of wastefulness with an expression like she had just seen her entire family die in a fire.”

“In most marriages, lust and love become tempered by normalcy. If you hear your husband farting in the bathroom seconds before he emerges and asks if you want to fool around, you generally don’t want to fool around. You might, after a few minutes, but you have to forgive your husband for… well, for being human. For eating a bean burrito. After all, you ate the bean burrito, too.”

“My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco,”

“I guess the breakfast burritos are going to have some extra protein in the morning.”

“Life without risks is like a burrito without Tabasco. Bland, but you’ll still fart.”

“Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs.”

“Total confusion, disconnected nothing, absolute bewilderment. It's an enigma wrapped in a mystery, stuffed in a burrito, and smothered in taco sauce.”

“I'm a Fritos Burrito guy. Me and Taco Bell have a love relationship on Twitter; they follow me. Out of 16 people they follow me, so I'm very loyal to my girlfriend, Taco Bell.”