Colfer Quotes

“But one of the big lessons I have learned from my journey is you can’t please everyone, so don’t try.”

“Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over”

“Giving evidence against one's employers was the first step to unemployment.”

“Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down.”

“No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order à la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?”

“The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.”

“Some people just needed to be stolen from.”

“They were in a position of total ignorance and people in that position often died without being enlightened.”

“Certain battles were won by retreating.”