Humurous Quotes

“Overall, she seems to be doing well for her age, but she looks like one of those dried apple dolls and my nursing gut tells me she is one good sneeze away from a rapid response team.”

“That was probably the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me." "What? Almost falling in a ditch?""No, being carried by a girl.”

“Only the soul knows its sorrow.”

“Though I should have known better, I had to ask. "What is furniture disease?"She looked at me like I had the IQ of a grape. "It's when your chest falls into your drawers. Get ready for it, honey, because with that rack of yours, you'll be using them as knee pads before you know it.”

“Why would you come to Italy to see Spanish steps? That's like going to China for Mexican food, isn't it?”

“I don't have a hot date. I don't even have a lukewarm date.”

“The paradise of prayers is like a palace full of precious things.”

“Shall we accept the testimony of a man, yet reject the Truth of God.”