Mail Quotes

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At first, sending the confession by real mail had felt like a genius device. I would not have to sit by my phone and watch for the signs that indicated it had been sent and seen. Slim but solid paper would, I hoped, convey me better. Now I had to consider the very real frailties of the system. Ludicrous, in fact, to entrust something of such magnitude to a mailman. A perfect stranger. I looked up stories of nefarious New York mailmen. There was one who has willfully upturned the lives of ordinary people like myself by hoarding 40,000 pieces of undelivered mail. The city was crawling with thieves and malcontents.

Olivia Sudjic
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We worshipped a great white body that was an avalanche of good news, and we slit it open in every part. “That can’t go through the mail,” the postman gasped, “because that is a super-stabbed body!” The super-stabbed body rose up, with many butterknives sticking out of it, and said, “I AM the mail.” It had so many lovers.

Patricia Lockwood, Motherland Fatherland Homelandsexuals
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To order a wife by mail seemed strange to him indeed; so strange he could only open the letters in the confidential cloak of night, undisturbed by even the servants..." Lord Hartford's thoughts at the prospect of reading letters in response to his advertisement for a mail order bride in "To Find a Duchess

Lisa M. Prysock, To Find a Duchess
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Where do you prefer to sit, Sir?" (Lady Alexandra to William, the Duke, during her mail-order bride interview.)

Lisa M. Prysock, To Find a Duchess
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Unlike then, the mail stream of today has diminished by such things as e-mails and faxes and cell phones and text messages, largely electronic means of communication that replace mail.

John M. McHugh
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They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat. "Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper. "Make Harry get it.""Get the mail, Harry.""Make Dudley get it.""Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley.

J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
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I spend almost every morning with mail.

Seamus Heaney
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Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.

Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters
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My e-mail address is actually my wife's e-mail address. I actually hate computers.

Joe Sakic
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Blackmail threats are e-mails from madmen.

Michael Bassey Johnson, Master of Maxims
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