Manic depresion Quotes

“..the thing about depression. When I feel it deeply, I don’t want to let it go. Itbecomes a comfort. I want to cloak myself under its heavy weight and breathe it into my lungs. I wantto nurture it, grow it, cultivate it. It’s mine. I want to check out with it, drift asleep wrapped in itsarms and not wake up for a long, long time.”

“..the thing about depression. When I feel it deeply, I don’t want to let it go. Itbecomes a comfort. I want to cloak myself under its heavy weight and breathe it into my lungs. I wantto nurture it, grow it, cultivate it. It’s mine. I want to check out with it, drift asleep wrapped in itsarms and not wake up for a long, long time.”

“..because never in my life have I ever been picked when there was another alternative.”

“Idealism + Inaction = Depression”

“Everything is, the way it is, for a reason. Or it isn't. Or neither. Or both. It's so hard to tell. It's so hard to tell you're a mile away by the Luke in your eye.”

“It's when you sit alone with your thoughts that you begin to miss what you have left behind. That is when the tears start. That is when you feel so down. That is when you are the most vulnerable.But we can't change what is done. We can only hope that the fallout is not nuclear.”

“I wrote when I did not know life;now that I know life, I have no more to say.”

“When I am high I couldn’t worry about money if I tried. So I don’t. The money will come from somewhere; I am entitled; God will provide. Credit cards are disastrous, personal checks worse. Unfortunately, for manics anyway, mania is a natural extension of the economy. What with credit cards and bank accounts there is little beyond reach. So I bought twelve snakebite kits, with a sense of urgency and importance. I bought precious stones, elegant and unnecessary furniture, three watches within an hour of one another (in the Rolex rather than Timex class: champagne tastes bubble to the surface, are the surface, in mania), and totally inappropriate sirenlike clothes. During one spree in London I spent several hundred pounds on books having titles or covers that somehow caught my fancy: books on the natural history of the mole, twenty sundry Penguin books because I thought it could be nice if the penguins could form a colony. Once I think I shoplifted a blouse because I could not wait a minute longer for the woman-with-molasses feet in front of me in line. Or maybe I just thought about shoplifting, I don’t remember, I was totally confused. I imagine I must have spent far more than thirty thousand dollars during my two major manic episodes, and God only knows how much more during my frequent milder manias.But then back on lithium and rotating on the planet at the same pace as everyone else, you find your credit is decimated, your mortification complete: mania is not a luxury one can easily afford. It is devastating to have the illness and aggravating to have to pay for medications, blood tests, and psychotherapy. They, at least, are partially deductible. But money spent while manic doesn’t fit into the Internal Revenue Service concept of medical expense or business loss. So after mania, when most depressed, you’re given excellent reason to be even more so.”

“A little manic was okay. A little manic paid the bills and got him up in the morning, made him magic when he needed it most.”

“I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature.”

“Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah.”