Not funny Quotes

“I'm not funny. What I am is brave.”

“Have you noticed how dogs sniff at one another when they meet? It seems to be their nature.- Yes; it's a funny habit.- No, it's not funny; you are wrong there. There's nothing funny in nature, however funny it may seem to man. If dogs could reason and criticize us they'd be sure to find just as much that would be funny to them, if not far more, in the social relations of men, their masters -far more, I think. I am more convinced that there is far more foolishness among us.”

“teenagers are never joking. when seeking to prove a point, principals and teachers should remember that teenagers are never, ever sarcasic or ironic. if they say "I wish someone would drop a bomb on this school right now," that means they have arranged for a nuclear arsenal to be emptied onto the school and should be immediately suspended and ridiculed. if they say they were merely coming up with a joking excuse to postpone a bio test, reply that all jokes are funny, and that since dropping a bomb on a school is not funny, it is therefore not a joke.”

“This time, try to keep your hands to yourself,” Ayden whispered in my ear. “Your octopus routine could get a bit embarrassing with this crowd.”“Th—that’s not funny.”“Come on. It was a little funny. You’re smiling.”I buried my face in his chest so he couldn’t see he was right.“Now,” Blake said, “about those handcuffs. That’s just—”“Don’t say it,” Ayden warned.“Kinky.”

“I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's not.”

“Comedians love people to point and laugh at them, even if they are not funny, naturists don't, no matter how funny they are.”

“Movies require a lot of patience. I like instant results. If I have done something that's not funny at all, the audience will let me know in two seconds. With the movie, I will have to wait nine months to know if I was that bad.”

“It's much better to wreak havoc on a show and be a maniac than promote myself. Plugs and anecdotes aren't really in line with my beliefs. Besides, if someone sees me on a morning show and thinks, 'That's not funny; this guy is crazy,' then I don't want them to come to the show anyway.”

“I hate to say it but I hate black humor. I feel like a Klan member saying it, but it's just not funny.”