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“None of them are real to me.” He paused again, placing a hand flat against the door. “You are the only real thing in my life.”Radu gasped with the sheer physical pain the words sent through him. But the sound of his agony was covered by that of the door opening. Mehmed reached in and pulled Lada out to him, and then his mouth was on hers and his hands were in her hair and he was holding her so tightly, so tightly, and they stumbled back into Lada’s room and closed the door.Radu tripped forward, feet dragging, until he stood outside the room. He wanted to be inside it. He wanted to be the only real thing to Mehmed, just as Mehmed was the only real thing to him.He wanted—No, please, no.Yes.He wanted Mehmed to look at him the way he had looked at Lada.He wanted Mehmed to kiss him the way he had kissed Lada.He wanted to be Lada.No, he did not. He wanted to be himself, and he wanted Mehmed to love him for being himself. His question, the question of Mehmed, was finally answered, piercing him and leaving him shaking, silent, on the floor.He did not want this answer.”
Kiersten White“What is wrong with you?” Radu sounded on the verge of tears. “Why do you have to destroy everything good we have here?”“Because,” Lada said, voice flat with the sudden wave of exhaustion pulling her heavily to the ground. “We have nothing. Can you not see that?”“We have Mehmed!”Lada looked up. The stars were static, still and cold in the night, all the fire gone from the sky. “It is not enough,” she said.”
Kiersten White, And I Darken“You once told me some lives are worth more than others. How many deaths before the scales tipout of our favor?”She had no answer.”
Kiersten White, And I Darken“I wonder if anyone gets through childhood without being broken. I certainly did not.”
Kiersten White, Now I Rise