Thurber Quotes

“If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. ”

“Hundreds of hysterical persons must confuse these phenomena with messages from the beyond and take their glory to the bishop rather than the eye doctor.”

“Memory in the mind of man can adapt to the worst conditions. I'll give you an example, an analogy of sorts: Each night I sop rags with beer and lay them out in careful strips. With rags soaked in beer I tease cockroaches from a crack in the baseboard. By morning they're good and drunk and I pop them into a baggy, then take them outside and throw the little buggers away.”

“The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody's guess.”

“It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.”

“Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.”

“Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?”

“Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?”

“But what is all this fear of and opposition to Oblivion? What is the matter with the soft Darkness, the Dreamless Sleep?”