Toaster Quotes

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The toaster (lacking real bread) would pretend to make two crispy slices of toast. Or, if the day seemed special in some way, it would toast an imaginary English muffin.

Thomas M. Disch
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A person is not the same as a toaster.

David Walton, Superposition
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Never put a sock in a toaster.

Eddie Izzard
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I knew a kid who stuck a knife in the toaster on a few occasions. He learned it hurt. He grew up to be a great electrician.

Travis J. Dahnke, Write like no one is reading
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I am what prevents the Accelerator from being a bomb.""Except you didn't," said Gracious. "Because you weren't around.""I got bored.""You're a machine.""Machines can become bored, too."Gracious looked suddenly concerned. "My toaster is bored?""Perhaps, " said the Engineer. "I do not know many toasters.

Derek Landy, Last Stand of Dead Men
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These robots are literally inhuman, and yet I react no differently to their stumblings and topplings than I would to the pratfalls of a fellow human. I don’t imagine I would laugh at the spectacle of a toaster falling out of an SUV, or a semiautomatic rifle pitching over sideways from an upright position, but there is something about these machines, their human form, with which it is possible to identify sufficiently to make their falling deeply, horribly funny.

Mark O'Connell, To Be a Machine: Adventures Among Cyborgs, Utopians, Hackers, and the Futurists Solving the Modest Problem of Death
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So, without saying anything to the others, it made its way to the farthest corner of the meadow and began to toast an imaginary muffin. That was always the best way to unwind when things got to be too much for it.

Thomas M. Disch, The Brave Little Toaster
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In any case, muffins that are only imaginary aren't liable to get stuck.

Thomas M. Disch, The Brave Little Toaster
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We are all made from the same seeds. It makes sense to say that compassion, love sunshine, water and nourishing seeds will grow into healthy, happy, fulfilled plants. You don’t have to like a certain kind of bread or be a bread maker to have faith. God invented more than brand of toasters to spread the seeds of faith. Those who become self-righteous bread makers shall have self-righteous toaster consciousness.If our belief system excludes us from sharing bread with those who do not believe the exact same manner as we do, that’s when its time to re-evaluate our belief system.

Sadiqua Hamdan, Happy Am I. Holy Am I. Healthy Am I.
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