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Count Duchamps: It's a wonder he didn't clank when he [Jim West] when he walked. (referring to all of Jim's gadgets and weaponry)Wild Wild West (TV) Season 1Night of the Two-Legged Buffalo

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Count Duchamps: It's a wonder he didn't clank when he [Jim West] when he walked. (referring to all of Jim's gadgets and weaponry)Wild Wild West (TV) Season 1Night of the Two-Legged Buffalo

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Jim: I want you to search every place in this hotel where a crate of dynamite could possibly be stored.Artie: Right. And if I find it?Jim: I'll arrange for someone to pour cold water over your face to revive you.Wild Wild West (TV) Season 2Night of the Infernal Machine

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Artie: It's in here.Jim: Let's check this [box] first, Artie.Artie: Oh. [Finding a fake Sword of Kuniyoshi] Phony! How do you like that? Phony!Jim: Artie...so are our bonds.Artie: Oh. You can't trust anybody these days.Wild Wild West (TV) Season 3Night of the Samurai

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Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Jerry Seinfeld
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Listen, dis foreign TV channels dey spoil de image of our country. Dese white stations dey make billions of dollars to sell your war and blood to de world… We no bad like dis. OK, why dem no dey show corpses of deir white people during crisis for TV? Abi, people no dey kill for America or Europe?”“You dey speak grammar!” someone shouted. “Wetin concern us wid America and Europe? Abeg, give us cable TV.”“Remove dis toilet pictures!” said another.“So our barracks be toilet now?” the police answered. "What an insult!“ "You na mad mad police,” Monica said.“Ok, cable TV no be for free anymore!” the police said.“But it’s our pictures we are watching on cable TV,” Madam Aniema said. “Why should we pay you to see ourselves and our people?”The police answered, “Because government dey complain say cable TV dey misrepresent dis religious crisis.

Uwem Akpan, Say You're One of Them
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Jim: Green and red. (pulls on green lever which closes a door)Artie: Very impressive. (stops Jim from pulling the red lever). Uh...did it ever occur to you that red might mean danger?Jim: For instance?Artie: For instance, red for fire. Fire of explosion.Jim: What would they want to explode?Artie: Those who fool around with their levers.Wild Wild West Season 4Night of the Big Blackmail

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But aliens? There are TV shows about them. There are books and movies and more. The media indoctrinates you to them until people are so desensitized they don't flinch at seeing aliens on TV or having their children buy plastic versions for a quarter.

Thomm Quackenbush, Artificial Gods
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I devised a test.I turned off the TV and instantly the snoring stopped. She began to move. When I felt her eyes about to open, I turned the TV back on and back to sleep she went. Then I'd turn it off and on - sometimes for millisecond - and she never failed me. Each time it was off, she's move and mutter - each time it was on, she'd sleep.By the time the headlights from Amy's Nova turned into our driveway, my suspicion had been confirmed. My mother has a more intimate, connected relationship with this television than she has ever had with me.

Peter Hedges, What's Eating Gilbert Grape
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Our television signals leave this planet and go out into space...the signals spread out from the earth in spherical waves, a little like ripples in a pond. They travel at the speed of light, 186,000 miles a second, and essentially go on forever. The better some other civilizations receivers are, the farther away they could be and still pick up our tv signals. Even we could detect a strong tv transmission from a planet going around the nearest star.' President: 'You mean everything? You mean to say all that crap on television - the car crashes, wrestling, the porno channels, the evening news?

Carl Sagan, Contact
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In previous centuries, the Church was the great controller, dictating morality, stifling free expression and posing as conservator of all great art and music. Instead we have TV, doing just as good a job at dictating fashions, thoughts, attitudes, objectives as did the Church, using many of the same techniques but doing it so palatably that no one notices. Instead of ‘sins’ to keep people in line, we have fears of being judged unacceptable by our peers (by not wearing the right shoes, not drinking the right kind of beer, or wearing the wrong kind of deodorant). Coupled with that fear is imposed insecurity concerning our own identities. All answers and solutions to these fears come through the television, and only through television. Only through exposure to TV can the new sins of alienation and ostracism be absolved.

Anton Szandor LaVey, The Secret Life of a Satanist: The Authorized Biography of Anton LaVey
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