“A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good.”

“I had a dream about you last night... You replaced all the people in your life with kittens. It felt more like a prediction of the future.”

“I had a dream about you last night.. You kept screaming at Ted Danson to pour you a drink.”

“I had a dream about you last night... shortly after I woke up screaming in terror.”

“I had a dream about you last night.. You pretended not to be a three hole punch.”

“I had a dream about you last night... Unfortunately, it wasn't a dream.”

“I had a dream about you last night... You tried to propose with a digital ceramic heater.”

“I had a dream about you last night.. You were in the amazon rain forest yipping like a dog.”

“I had a dream about you last night... You turned red, then green, and then blue. You told me you were trying to fit in with the m&m's.”

“I had a dream about you last night.. You were balancing ten tiny footballs on your nose while dancing with a turquoise unicorn.”

“I had a dream about you last night.. You were playing with chicken livers and told me everyone was in quarantine.”