“A lot of lip service gets paid to being honest, but no one really wants to hear it unless what's being said is the party line.”

“I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write.”

“You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.”

“Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles.”

“A lot of lip service gets paid to being honest, but no one really wants to hear it unless what's being said is the party line.”

“I think the world honestly would be a much healthier place if instead of trying to find rationalizations for our bad behavior we would just say, "I was an asshole. Sure, there were reasons behind it, but that doesn't matter.”

“Thank God for immigrants. They're the only ones who have any personality left. They still allow themselves emotions, judgments, and all those qualities that we are "evolving" past. I don't know what they're saying, but I can tell they're speaking honestly.”

“A few years back, they jacked David Copperfield in West Palm Beach, for Chrissake. Yes, it's funny: "Yo, empty your pockets," and he pulls out a bunny rabbit. But it's also depressing. If someone who can make himself disappear isn't safe, who is?”