“Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething.”

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence and then Success is sure.”

“He is now fast rising from affluence to poverty.”

“It were not best that we should all think alike it is difference of opinion that makes horseraces.”

“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.”

“There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.”

“Modesty died when false modesty was born.”

“The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance stupidity and perjury.”

“Get your facts first and then you can distort 'em as much as you please.”

“Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority in any town?”

“Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.”