“America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.”

“If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.”

“When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.”

“Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.”

“When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'”

“When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.”

“Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.”

“It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.”

“I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.”

“I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.”

“It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.”