“An ax came through the door. Then two firefighters. They looked down at and assistant mall manager crying and wearing a melted toupee, sitting cross-legged next to a mall cop with a bleeding ankle and a mouth full of paper. One of the firefighters look at the other. "Not again.”
Tim Dorsey“But you have to understand, mental illness is like cholesterol. There is is good kind and the bad. Without the good kind- less flavor to life. Van Gogh, Beethoven, Edgar Allen Poe, Sylvia Plath, Pink Floyd (the early Piper at the Gates of Dawn line up), scientific breakthroughs, spiritual revolution, utopian visions, zany nationalism that kills millions- wait, that’s the bad kind. Tim Dorsey (Hurricane Punch)”
Tim Dorsey, Hurricane Punch“Always walk away from a fight. Then ambush.”
Tim Dorsey, Gator A-Go-Go“Do you think heaven's like that?Could be worse, said Serge. You know all those pushy people who keep telling us we're not going to heaven? It could be full of them instead.”
Tim Dorsey, Electric Barracuda“Look forward to the wonderment of growing up, raising a family and driving by the gas station where the popular kids now work.”
Tim Dorsey, Gator A-Go-Go“Nothing builds confidence like live ammo.”
Tim Dorsey, Atomic Lobster“Don't make fun of people who are different. Unless they have more money and influence. Then you must”
Tim Dorsey, Gator A-Go-Go“An ax came through the door. Then two firefighters. They looked down at and assistant mall manager crying and wearing a melted toupee, sitting cross-legged next to a mall cop with a bleeding ankle and a mouth full of paper. One of the firefighters look at the other. "Not again.”
Tim Dorsey, When Elves Attack: A Joyous Christmas Greeting from the Criminal Nutbars of the Sunshine State