“*Appendix usually means "small outgrowth from large intestine," but in this case it means "additional information accompanying main text." Or are those really the same things? Think carefully before you insult this book.”

“Only bad books have good endings.if a book is any good, its ending is always bad_because byou don't want the book to end.”

“Please be SILENT and LISTEN.I am the SCHOOLMASTERand you are in the CLASSROOM.Just like ELEVEN PLUS TWO equalsTWELVE PLUS ONE,And even a FUNERAL can be REAL FUN,You will find my DICTIONARYis quite INDICATORY.If you want to read my story, just look...THEN UNREAD.”

“The name of this book is mysterious.”

“Cassandra, when you want to speak to me, you should say 'Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson.' Then wait until you get my attention.""Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson. Do I have your attention now?”

“But remember what I said about forgetting what I said?”

“Some secrets are meant to be known- but once known you can never forget them.”

“...books were better than travel.”

“It was like walking into a treasure trove of books, hoarded by pirate librarians.”

“Generally speaking, books don't cause much harm. Except when you read them, that is. Then they cause all kinds of problems.”

“Only bad books have good endings.If a book is any good, it's ending is always bad - because you don't want the book to end.”