Artemus Ward Quotes

“For people who like that kind of thing, this is the kind of thing they like.”

“Trouble will come soon enough and when he does come receive him as pleasantly as possible ... the more amiably you greet him the sooner he will go away.”

“Perhaps in the end, it should be left alone as a reminder that life isn't perfect, but even with it's imperfections it is worthwhile and enjoyable. Wouldn't it be great if more people thought that?”

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“Quotes is just quotes, cannot change your world if you not do think in that quotes, so just go and do anything...”

“Coming up with a useful, meaningful quote is getting more and more challenging each day....and you can quote me on that.”

“To me, quotes function as the sunscreen against a writers brilliance. As soon as I cannot stand to look at the magnificence of the acropolis of pure thought the writer managed to doll out in the cognizant chaos - I quote him, and by doing so I am discharged and freed. On the other hand, even while I do acknowledge that some things cannot be quoted, I vehemently distrust any writer whose army of quotes does not consist of impeccable warriors but the sort of bootless canon fodder that caused one to write in the first place, wishing to circumlocute that strappant lot. No writer can ever recover from bad quotes. I check the army of quotes, and if it has no sporting chance against a simple pack of butter then I will simply never ever read this person. One often hears short stories are the benchmark of great writers, but if you ask me, I'd rather first look at their quotes.”

“Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.”

“If all it takes to motivate you is a quote then this quote has nothing to say – except to go soar with the freakin’ eagles.”

“When I quote Scripture, I know I am quoting the very Word of God.”