Rick Riordan Quotes

“Hermes's eyes twinkled. "Martha, may I have the first package, please?"Martha opened her mouth ... and kept opening it until it was as wide as my arm. She belched out a stainless steel canister-an old-fashioned lunch box thermos with a black plastic top. The sides of the thermos were enameled with red and yellow Ancient Greek scenes-a hero killing a lion; a hero lifting up Cerberus, the three-headed dog."That's Hercules," I said. "But how-""Never question a gift," Hermes chided. "This is a collector's item from Hercules Busts Heads. The first season.""Hercules Busts Heads?""Great show." Hermes sighed. "Back before Hephaestus-TV was all reality programming. Of course, the thermos would be worth much more if I had the whole lunch box-”

“Hermes's eyes twinkled. "Martha, may I have the first package, please?"Martha opened her mouth ... and kept opening it until it was as wide as my arm. She belched out a stainless steel canister-an old-fashioned lunch box thermos with a black plastic top. The sides of the thermos were enameled with red and yellow Ancient Greek scenes-a hero killing a lion; a hero lifting up Cerberus, the three-headed dog."That's Hercules," I said. "But how-""Never question a gift," Hermes chided. "This is a collector's item from Hercules Busts Heads. The first season.""Hercules Busts Heads?""Great show." Hermes sighed. "Back before Hephaestus-TV was all reality programming. Of course, the thermos would be worth much more if I had the whole lunch box-”

“Hekate smacked the mirror down. "I'd never fancy you," she retorted to Hermes. "And if you ever try to kiss me, I'll--I'll keep a snake hidden in my clothes and make it bite you. On the lips. And on both ears.""See, your threats are still age twelve," Hermes said. "I'll help you work on that.”

“Hermes's shoulders sagged. "They'll try, Percy. Oh, we'll all try to keep our promise. And maybe for a while things will get better. But we gods have never been good at keeping oaths. You were born because of a broken promise, eh? Eventually we'll become forgetful. We always do.""You can change."Hermes laughed. "After three thousand years, you think the gods can change their nature?""Yeah," I said. "I do.”

“George unhinged his jaw and coughed up a little plastic bottle filled with chewable vitamins."You're kidding," I said. "Are those Minotaur-shaped?"Hermes picked up the bottle and rattled it. "The lemon ones, yes. The grape ones are Furies, I think. Or are they hydras? At any rate, these are potent."”

“Percy Jackson," Hermes said, "because you have taken on the curse of Achilles, I must spare you. You are in the hands of the Fates now. But you will never speak to me like that again. You have no idea how much I have sacrificed, how much—"His voice broke, and he shrank back to human size. "My son, my greatest pride . . . my poor May . . ."He sounded so devastated I didn't know what to say. One minute he was ready to vaporize us. Now he looked like he needed a hug.”

“What’s the best part of being in Hermes cabin?Connor: You are never lonely. I mean seriously, new kids are always coming in. So you always have someone to talk to.Travis: Or prank.Connor: Or pickpocket. One big happy family.”

“Hermes, we love you," Hades said, "but you rarely do as you're told, and you always do as you wish, and I haven't the slightest idea what you'd do with an immortality fruit, but I'm sure it would be both creative and disastrous.”

“It doesn't matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don't appreciate your genius for inventing the internet-""You invented the internet?", Martha said., George said."It was my idea!" Hermes said. "I mean the internet, not the rats. But that's not the point.”

“Hermes visited him in the Underworld a few days before the spring equinox festival, cajoling Hades to come to it.Hades wandered across the fields with him, Kerberos limping along at his side. “No one wants the god of death at their fertility festival.”“Sure they do. I’ve heard plenty of girls sighing over your tasty darkness.”“Tasty darkness. Really.”

“After the satyrs filed in to dinner, the Hermes cabin brought up the rear. They were always the biggest cabin. Last summer it had been led by Luke, the guy who fought with Thalia and Annabeth on top of Half-Blood Hill. For a while, before Poseidon had claimed me, I'd lodged in the Hermes cabin. Luke had befriended me...and then he'd tried to kill me.”