Laney Smith Quotes

“You can now interact with Sheriff Derrick Decker on Facebook. Just look up Derrick Decker!”

“I can jog, but I can't run. That's hard for me. I like the fact that I can jog for fitness, but to me there's a huge difference between jogging and running.”

“I can't complain about my life. I have a really nice life. I have a great family and I live in a gorgeous part of the country.”

“You do not have to worhip god to be good and you certainly do not have to be good to worship god.”

“The decker these ***holes brought with them is top tier, but I'm going to stomp his jelly beans so hard his kids will be born crooked.”

“I've always had such high expectations for myself. I'm aware of them but I can't relax them.”

“Maybe it’s us who are the psychosis of some massive, all-knowing globule of nebulous space junk.”

“Atheists are spiritual slackers, right? We are the stoners of the cosmos. We think we’re all over-intelligent, free-thinking, free-spirited, uber-cool, hippy-dippy, science-minded, leaning-to-the-left, hedonistic, children of Theodorus the Atheist. We’re all like “Dude, I don’t need no stinkin’ deity” and if we came face-to-face with the Grim Reaper himself we’d say, “No worries, Bro, let’s do this! Game over!”

“A long time ago I learned that an atheist and a believer trying to have a discussion about God and religion is like shooting the breeze and having it shoot back.”

“I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone and lands in Australia.”