Jenny Lawson Quotes

“Lady, you have the wrong number. Our cat isn't even in the hospital. He doesn't want pajamas.”

“Never fight any progressive moves unless you can move faster to achieve something different.”

“We're better than Galileo. Because he's dead.”

“It's okay to keep a broken oven in your yard as long as you call it art.”

“Refrigerators are good for keeping homemade moonshine less gross. Freezers are good for keeping rattlesnakes less angry. Garages are good to hide in when your wife finds either.”

“Australia is filled with roundabouts and everyone drives on the wrong side of the road. In the end we decided to split up the work and I feverishly watched the GPS and yelled, "Left! Right! ROUNDABOUT!”

“Even the ugliest person's cellulite is more attractive than the most beautiful supermodel's lower intestine.' I'd put that on a T-shirt but probably Mark Twain already said it.”

“Who says Australia offers not a home for every poor Englishman, or any other countryman that finds his way to our shores? And what sort of thanks do we get for it?”

“Oh, my ways are strange ways and new ways and old ways, And deep ways and steep ways and high ways and low, I'm at home and at ease on a track that I know not, And restless and lost on a road that I know.”

“Also, in a funny way, if you have been happily married there are no unresolved areas, nothing to prove to yourself after the other dies.”