Ellie Kemper Quotes

“It took two months from the day my fiance proposed to my first Google search for 'wedding planning: how?' Now, let me interrupt myself here and share how much I hate using the word 'fiance.' It's so fancy, and it's hard not to sound like a jerk saying it. Which is why I will be using my own word for fiance: gloob.”

“Growing up, I had one very specific idea of what a wedding should be, and that was the wedding of Fraeulein Maria and Captain von Trapp in 'The Sound of Music.'”

“If you're going to plan a wedding, then a certain amount of suffering is not a choice.”

“I am fully anticipating that something - perhaps many things - will not go according to plan on our actual wedding day. If some of the flowers are wilted, or there aren't enough vegetarian meals, or the priest calls me the wrong name, I will embrace these errors.”

“Growing up, I had one very specific idea of what a wedding should be, and that was the wedding of Fraulein Maria and Captain von Trapp in 'The Sound of Music.'”

“If I'm alone, I tend to cook for myself. I do a pretty good job of preparing healthful foods. My go-to is everything in a bowl like quinoa, avocado. Later in the day, scrambled eggs. I'm not a gourmet chef. I cook in bulk very well.”

“I'm a morning bird. I love getting up before it's light out if it's possible. I wake up, I have a black coffee. I'm an 86-year-old man. I try to work out first thing to get it over with. When I do it, I feel good because I have the endorphins all day.”

“My painting teacher in high school used to say, 'I can't paint like I want to, but through practice I'll get better.' But I don't think that's true. I think sometimes you just can't paint.”

“That's it. New rule: no more flirting during the zombie apocalypse”

“If there is no case to take care of, then you will take care to create a case to take care of. Otherwise your system becomes useless.”