“Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.”

“We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you”

“I'm about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word busy is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word "busy" is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact in every silo you uncover, all you're going to find is a man who didn't care enough to call. Remember men are never to busy to get what they want.”

“I do think that you can dress yourself out of a problem. The way that a haircut and a new pair of pants can make you feel is better than any therapist, because when you look in the mirror, you see a different person - you are a different person. It's superficial change that can lead to real change.”

“I think probably - I think, you know, when you're first dating somebody, if they're just not that physical with you, if they don't want to make concrete plans with you, you know, if they're sort of ambiguous about where everything is going, I think that's a pretty good sign that they're not into you.”

“I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.”

“I've learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work.”

“First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend”

“Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.) ”

“You are not easily forgotten.”

“He doesn't need to be reminded you're great.”