“But with dogs, we do have "bad dog." Bad dog exists. "Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!" The dog is saying, "Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and I stole a biscuit?! Is that a crime? People of the world!""Well, if you put it that way, I think you’ve got a point. Have another biscuit, sorry.”

“So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!”

“I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.”

“I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.”

“Never put a sock in a toaster.”

“I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.”

“I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.”

“Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both... different. In spelling.”

“Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal.”

“We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.”

“So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naïve, I feel!”