“Contrary to his infallibly "honest" image, Abe wasn't above lying so long as it served a noble purpose.”

“But if you read Jane Austen, you know that she had a wicked sense of humor. Not only was she funny, but her early writing was very dark and had a gothic tone to it.”

“Men have enslaved each other since they invented gods to forgive them for doing it.”

“One: I am proud to say that my vampires do not sp”

“...seeing the way his trousers clung to those most English parts.”

“Let us pray now for the future dead. Though we do not yet know their names, we know that there shall be far too many of them.”

“I have read of the great wars of ages past, and men slaughtered by the tens of thousands. And we give but fleeting consideration to their deaths, for it is our nature to banish such thoughts.”

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”

“What an excellent father you have, girls!' said she, when the door was shut. 'Such joys are scarce since the good Lord saw fit to close the gates of Hell and doom the dead to walk amongst us.”

“So I suggest you stick close, pay attention, and avoid breaking the Terrorverse's only commandment: Thou shall not be stupid.”

“From this moment on, nothing is what it seems. You're not a human being, you're a character- and filmmakers are doing everything in their power to kill you even now. Supernatural powers and curses are real, and numbers like 666 and 237 can kill you just as easily as a butch knife.Log cabins are slaughterhouses, cornstalks are antennas for evil, and aliens never, ever come in peace.”