“Dad?" Jesus asked."Yes, son?" God replied."Why do birds sing?" Jesus asked."Birds sing to welcome in the day and so that people can rejoice in their sweet voices," God said."What about chickens then?" Jesus asked now."Chickens are alarm clocks," God said."Alarm clocks?" Jesus asked bewildered."Yes, alarm clocks. They let everyone know that a new day is coming. Would you want to miss seeing the beauty of a sunrise?" God asked Jesus."No! I love watching a new day dawn," Jesus said."So it is with a lot of animals and people. That's the magic of life," God said."No dad. That's the magic of you," Jesus said as he smiled."Thank you," God said with a happy smile.”

“Spermicide' sort of rhymes with 'pesticide', yet you wouldn't put a load of DDT in you know where to kill you know what, now would you?”

“A rumbling volcano is like a pimple.You know that they're both going to explode,but you just don't know when.”

“Politicians will always be honest.To themselves!”

“It's okay to remember, but it's also okay to forget too.”

“Life is a prison in which we find ourselves.”

“In the end it was worth it.”

“When you run with the bulls,it's no use walking.”

“When we run away from something. We're usually running away from ourselves.”

“Drink from the cup of life, you will be fulfilled.Yet...drink from the milk container in the fridge,and your wife will make you wish that you had drunk from the cup of life.”

“Meetings! Meetings! Meetings!Do they ever achieve anything or do they just let a lot of hot air out of an already over inflated balloon?”