“Dad?" Jesus asked."Yes, son?" God replied."Do we look like man or does he look like us?" Jesus asked."Man made god in his image," God said."Why?" Jesus asked."Because it's easier to believe in someone and something if it looks like you or is a symbolic representation of you," God answered."If that's true. What do we look like then?" Jesus asked.God smiled, "We look like everything."Jesus laughed, "Could I look like a giraffe then?""Yes, if the giraffe believes in you," God laughed.Jesus smiled and had tears of joy in his eyes.”

“Spermicide' sort of rhymes with 'pesticide', yet you wouldn't put a load of DDT in you know where to kill you know what, now would you?”

“A rumbling volcano is like a pimple.You know that they're both going to explode,but you just don't know when.”

“Politicians will always be honest.To themselves!”

“It's okay to remember, but it's also okay to forget too.”

“Life is a prison in which we find ourselves.”

“In the end it was worth it.”

“When you run with the bulls,it's no use walking.”

“When we run away from something. We're usually running away from ourselves.”

“Drink from the cup of life, you will be fulfilled.Yet...drink from the milk container in the fridge,and your wife will make you wish that you had drunk from the cup of life.”

“Meetings! Meetings! Meetings!Do they ever achieve anything or do they just let a lot of hot air out of an already over inflated balloon?”