“Dad?" Jesus asked."Yes, son?" God asked."Why are people so scared of dying?" Jesus asked."Because they believe that they only get one life and then they die," God said."But dad, nothing ever dies," Jesus said."You know that and I know that, but sadly, they don't know that," God said and the two of them then looked down towards the Earth.”

“Spermicide' sort of rhymes with 'pesticide', yet you wouldn't put a load of DDT in you know where to kill you know what, now would you?”

“A rumbling volcano is like a pimple.You know that they're both going to explode,but you just don't know when.”

“Politicians will always be honest.To themselves!”

“It's okay to remember, but it's also okay to forget too.”

“Life is a prison in which we find ourselves.”

“In the end it was worth it.”

“When you run with the bulls,it's no use walking.”

“When we run away from something. We're usually running away from ourselves.”

“Drink from the cup of life, you will be fulfilled.Yet...drink from the milk container in the fridge,and your wife will make you wish that you had drunk from the cup of life.”

“Meetings! Meetings! Meetings!Do they ever achieve anything or do they just let a lot of hot air out of an already over inflated balloon?”