“Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.”

“You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.”

“The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.”

“Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.”

“I'm free of all prejudices. I hate all people equally.”

“I like children. If they're properly cooked.”

“A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.”

“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. ”

“Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.”

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”