“Everybody's gotta die sometime. That's life.”

“The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband being big enough to step back and see where the wife was wrong.”

“Everybody's gotta die sometime. That's life.”

“You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker.”

“It's not new: In the '70s, Archie Bunker said terrible things on 'All in the Family,' but it was all in Carroll O'Connor's performance. You saw lack of intelligence, and you laughed.”

“Your own life starts the moment you're born. Before that, even.""I just, I feel like as long as I live with you, I won't... I'm not... It's like George Jefferson.""From the TV show?""Right. George Jefferson. As long as he was on 'All in the Family', he was just somebody who made Archie Bunker's story more interesting. He didn't have anything of his own. He didn't have a plot or supporting characters. I don't know if you ever even got to see his house. But after he got his own show, George had his own living room and kitchen... and bedroom, I think. He even had his own elevator. Places for him to exist in, for his story to happen. Like this apartment. This is something that's mine.”