“Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.”

“Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”

“If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”

“Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.”

“Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.”

“Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?”

“You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.”

“Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.”

“The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.”

“Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.”

“Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.”