“Have you ever wondered how to commit human sacrifice and destroy all the evidence while having a delicious meal all at the same time? It’s called cannibalism and all it means is eating another human being. It’s not that hard.”
Tim Heidecker“Nothing impresses the ladies like a clean, pressed pair of khakis and a large pattern shirt featuring either classic cars, mojitos or men playing golf.”
Tim Heidecker“There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices.”
Tim Heidecker“There's a generation of people I think without a strong connection to family, to religion, to civic duty. They have a real disassociation from the problems of the world.”
Tim Heidecker“My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical.”
Tim Heidecker“Have you ever wondered how to commit human sacrifice and destroy all the evidence while having a delicious meal all at the same time? It’s called cannibalism and all it means is eating another human being. It’s not that hard.”
Tim Heidecker, Tim and Eric's Zone Theory: 7 Easy Steps to Achieve a Perfect Life