“Here's how I'll tell you what I think—if you see white smoke then you know I picked a new pope. And if I'm drinking a Snapple then you know I don't give a shit.”

“Yeah, but a hellbender never dies. You ever see a dead one?”

“Henry,that's how you get rid of fleas. You keep them from laying eggs. You go to war with them.”

“It's Coke, my man. You really think I'm going to let you pour any more alcohol into your body tonight?”

“May your glass always be full, may there always be a roof over your head, and may you dirty sinners be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead.”

“Nothing else in the whole wide world matters as much as avenging your sister.”

“I'm sure you have drawers overflowing with panties the ladies throw at the stage. We saw you guys play down at Mon Brewing a few times. Way to keep the Nineties alive.”

“Music lets you write your own checks. Don't ever forget that.”

“Preston Black couldn't sleep the whole night through, Preston Black couldn't sleep the whole night through. He'd lay in bed 'til the morning came, but the devil'd visit him just the same. Preston Black couldn't sleep the whole night through.”

“You are not a handgun. More like a pellet gun. Maybe even a slingshot.”

“We're all Hitler inside. We're all Christ inside. I'm not keen on the idea, but it's true, isn't it? We've all got a little bit of the devil in us.”