“Hey, Tiffany. If I have to walk - if I have to steal a horse - I'll be there”

“Like many of you, I've always been slightly obsessed with vampires, dating back to the prime-time series 'Dark Shadows,' which I followed avidly as a kid.”

“Hey, Tiffany. If I have to walk - if I have to steal a horse - I'll be there”

“I like you but you mightn't feel the same way about me, and I wouldn't blame you. To save us both from any awkward moments I've figured out an easy way to do this. Nod if you're even slightly interested in getting to know me. Write a ten page explanation if you're not.”