“I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.”

“So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the [L.A.] riots... and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me... 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.' ...Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article - front page of the paper - one day, in England: 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.' Wooooo... 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose! What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight.”

“Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.”

“Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.”

“I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.”

“I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.”

“If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.”

“Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.”

“There is no such thing as death; life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.”

“It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.”

“It's all about money, not freedom. You think you're free? Try going somewhere without money.”