“I believe being a ‘gentleman’ goes well beyond holding the door for a girl and letting her go before you. It’s about being vulnerable for her. I think that when it comes to the way we treat women, it’s a good idea to look to the way Jesus treated women. He laid His life down for His bride,He sacrificed for her,He lowered Himself for her,He was vulnerable for her.We must love women vulnerably in the same way that Jesus loved His bride vulnerably. Being a gentleman is far more than being caring and thoughtful, it’s about possessing sacrificial and vulnerable Christ-like characteristics. I don’t know if it’s possible to be a gentleman without knowing and representing the character of Jesus.”
Cole Ryan“There’s a beautiful poem at the beginning of a collection of books we call the Bible. In that poem, it is written: "Then God said, ‘Let us make man.’” God then recognized that it was not good for man to be alone. We can all agree on that one, I think. Loneliness is one of the most excruciating pains that the human heart, or any heart, has to go through.What did God do about it?What was His remedy?What was His answer?He created marriage. He didn’t create dating, He didn’t create courting - He created marriage.”
Cole Ryan“Love is often confused with attraction. Love is an action, it’s a choice. We can choose to love someone. Attraction, however, is a feeling, it’s an emotion, it’s temporary.”
Cole Ryan, Dear Guys: A New Way To Date“Dating is never mentioned in the Bible, not once. I’m not saying that dating’s a sin or that dating’s evil. That’s not what this book is about. What I am saying is that if we look to Scripture for specific answers on dating we’re not going to find any. That’s not a problem, though, because it has a lot to say about marriage, and when we figure out why God created marriage, we will figure out a lot about dating in return.”
Cole Ryan“I believe being a ‘gentleman’ goes well beyond holding the door for a girl and letting her go before you. It’s about being vulnerable for her. I think that when it comes to the way we treat women, it’s a good idea to look to the way Jesus treated women. He laid His life down for His bride,He sacrificed for her,He lowered Himself for her,He was vulnerable for her.We must love women vulnerably in the same way that Jesus loved His bride vulnerably. Being a gentleman is far more than being caring and thoughtful, it’s about possessing sacrificial and vulnerable Christ-like characteristics. I don’t know if it’s possible to be a gentleman without knowing and representing the character of Jesus.”
Cole Ryan“Let me paraphrase what Paul is saying here: Jesus married the Church - Christians, you and me, us. The Church is His literal bride. He laid His life down for the Church. And Paul writes that husbands should love their wives in the same way that Jesus loved The Church, and vice-versa. What a daunting task.But what is made clear in this passage is that marriage was designed to display the love that Jesus has for the Church, His bride. It’s the closest thing we can get to tasting the kind of love that He has for us - a sacrificing love, a serving love, a selfless love. Do you see what this means? Marriage isn’t really about us. It’s not. It’s about God. It’s about the Gospel.”
Cole Ryan, Dating: I Think We've Missed The Point“You might have good, moral efforts of working hard and earning money in order to help feed the poor or something along those lines - and then you get the money you’ve been seeking and you see and feel and taste how sweet it is and you only want more and more and more for…yourself.Money corrupts its own intentions.”
Cole Ryan, Money: I Think We've Missed The Point“Active love doesn’t ask: 'What does this person have to offer me?' Rather: 'What do I have to offer this person?”
Cole Ryan, Dating: I Think We've Missed The Point“Notice that “love thy neighbor” - a wildly popular piece of wisdom found in the Bible - is a command. Jesus is commanding us to love. Now, Jesus understood that emotions and feelings cannot be commanded; they cannot be controlled. He must be saying that love isn’t the way you feel about someone, it’s the way your treat someone. Love isn’t something that happens to you, it’s something that you make happen. It’s a choice.”
Cole Ryan, Dating: I Think We've Missed The Point“And for another person to come along side us on our journey - for two messy, broken people to come together and say “I know your faults, I know you’re going to do some things I hate, I know the person you are now is not the person you want to be. However, I know the person you could become and I want to help you get there.” That’s what it’s all about.”
Cole Ryan, Dating: I Think We've Missed The Point“The opposite of lust is intentional, purposeful. The opposite of lust is longing for a ‘particular’ person – because while lust is looking to get, the opposite of lust is looking to give. The opposite of lust is choosing a certain person. The same person. Everyday.For the rest of your life.Despite what they have to offer.Now that’s romantic. The opposite of lust is waking up every morning and saying, “out of everyone else in this world, I choose you.” I choose you. Today, and everyday.I choose you not because you’re perfect for me and you meet all of my qualifications and conditions and because you make me feel loved and cared for. No. I choose you, because I know you’re a lot like me, and you’re going to fall short and mess up and you’re not always going to feel like loving me – but you’re going to want someone to stick around with you despite all that. I choose you, because I know Jesus loves you, and He doesn’t love you because He is impressed by you and He gets a warm feeling in His heart when He’s around you and you complete Him. He loves you so that you might become more like Him.This is a love that isn't dependent on us.”
Cole Ryan, Dating: I Think We've Missed The Point