“I believe in a benevolent God not because He created the Grand Canyon or Michelangelo, but because He gave us snacks.”

“My compulsive thoughts aren't even thoughts, they're absolute certainties and obeying them isn't a choice.”

“As a writer, I need an enormous amount of time alone. Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials. It's a matter of doing everything you can to avoid writing, until it is about four in the morning and you reach the point where you have to write. Having anybody watching that or attempting to share it with me would be grisly.”

“I believe in a benevolent God not because He created the Grand Canyon or Michelangelo, but because He gave us snacks.”