“I fix my grandchildren's computers.”

“War is war and Hell is hell, and if you ask me, War is a lot worse.”

“I'm an angry person, angrier than most people would imagine, I get flashes of anger. What works for me is working out when it's useful to use that anger.”

“If I can't get the girl, at least give me more money.”

“The one thing I think I've noticed about shows that are supposed to be funny on television is that they've sort of become routinized, so there's an awful lot of mannerisms and joke lines that are sort of there to trigger laughter, rather than give actors a chance to play a moment.”

“Be as smart as you can, but remember that it is always better to be wise than to be smart.”

“I would like to know that when I read the paper in the morning, it's telling me something that actually happened, and I think the vast majority of journalists want the same thing.”

“Here's my Golden Rule for a tarnished age: Be fair with others, but keep after them until they're fair with you.”

“When I was about ten years old, I gave my teacher an April Fool's sandwich, which had a dead goldfish in it.”

“We need to be more conversant with it because science is in our lives. It's in everything. It's in the food we eat. It's in the air we breathe. It's everywhere.”

“It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich.”