“I just wanted all the wars to be over so that we could spend the money on starships and Mars colonies.”

“I just wanted all the wars to be over so that we could spend the money on starships and Mars colonies.”

“No matter how shitty things are, you can always get a song out of it.”

“He read me extracts from a medical journal describing the progress of a staphylococcus aureus infection. And then he pleasured me with a potato.”

“So I sang out the barbarous words - karaoke from Hell.”

“Ours is an overpopulated, under educated, shithole in the throes of mass extinctions - it's a wonderful world.”

“I suggested in my last sermon that if Oolon Colluphid had tracked down the "God" who had left a message in five mile high letters of fire on the Quentulus Quazgar Mountains, he still wouldn't have found the person who actually created the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy – namely, Douglas Adams. Dorothy L. Sayers pressed the idea that "God is like an author" quite hard, and C.S. Lewis practically broke it. It's also been used by Mr Grant Morrison and Mr David Sim. But seriously. You "brights" will understand us Christians much better once you've grasped that when we talk about "God", we are thinking of something much less like a fairy and much more like a Douglas.”

“One must commit acts of the highest treason only when dressed in the most resplendent finery.”

“Enough madness? Enough? And how do you measure madness? - The Joker”

“Modern man has successfully razed the imaginative landscapes of primal peoples the whole world over. Kill the gods first, slaughter the sacred animals, rewrite the mythologies, and build roads through the holy places. Do all this and watch the people decline. Without souls, they soon die, leaving dead shells, zombie cultures, shambling aimlessly towards oblivion.”

“It's always the same with lost people; you start out looking for them, and you end up losing yourself.”

“Madness is born in the blood. It is my birthright.”