“I remember when I was growing up and there would be sick people in the church. I was always so sensitive to them sitting in the pews alone, and I would not pass by without saying hello. But even at those tender ages of 5 through 14, I felt like they carried the plague, and after seeing them I would turn around praying really hard to never experience sickness like that, ever. I’d pray that I wouldn’t make God angry enough to curse me like that with really awful things, but I didn’t think about grace. I did not understand that it does not work that way, that God’s grace is so much bigger than our sin because of Jesus—but I do get it now. We go through what we do so that we can fulfill God’s glory in our lives.”

“July 22, 2009At times I still feel lost, but I also feel the comfort of my Lord through the physical pain and the mental challenges. I know He’s there. I can feel Him in the sun beaming down on my brown skin. It feels like love and comfort. It feels like He’s holding me when I suffer and I’m not alone.”

“It takes all my strength to do daily tasks. To some people, I’m just a number. I’m a projected food stamps debit card lifetime member. I’m seen as crazy or insane, but it doesn’t matter. I know I am bigger than my suffering.”

“I remember when I was growing up and there would be sick people in the church. I was always so sensitive to them sitting in the pews alone, and I would not pass by without saying hello. But even at those tender ages of 5 through 14, I felt like they carried the plague, and after seeing them I would turn around praying really hard to never experience sickness like that, ever. I’d pray that I wouldn’t make God angry enough to curse me like that with really awful things, but I didn’t think about grace. I did not understand that it does not work that way, that God’s grace is so much bigger than our sin because of Jesus—but I do get it now. We go through what we do so that we can fulfill God’s glory in our lives.”

“There is nothing as delicate, as stunning, and as vulnerable as the heart.”

“Does the butterfly lose time in the months it grows from caterpillar to flying beauty? One day, I’m going to want to sleep twelve hours at a stretch and I won’t be able to. I’m not losing time. I am going through a metamorphosis.”

“Though my mental illness is more likened to a big, nasty green monster than something heart-wrenchingly beautiful, I think I have learned many wonderful lessons from my many afflictions.”