“I stared out at the waves. "Why am I here?" I thought. Finally it came to me. But it was too late. I was a terrible lifeguard.”

“I stared out at the waves. "Why am I here?" I thought. Finally it came to me. But it was too late. I was a terrible lifeguard.”

“I stared out at the waves. "Why am I here?" I thought. Finally it came to me. But it was too late. I was a terrible lifeguard.”

“I've seen enough family photos in enough homes to know that the term 'suitable for framing' should have a stricter definition.”

“It’s not easy balancing a career, a family and a healthy outlook on life, which is why I don’t.”

“I had to break up with Medusa. I just got sick of buying mice for her hair. I should have ended it sooner, but you try looking into those eyes.”

“Twenty years ago, chaos theory was all the rage. I wonder what happened with that. Maybe all the excitement over it become so organized that its initial entropy failed to fall apart and disintegrate into nothingness leaving its proponents re-illusioned in certainty. I remember seeing an employee at a local book store arranging a subsection for literature about chaos among the science books. "There’s the problem." I thought. "How can there be a chaos section? Those books should be distributed randomly throughout the store... that is, if there was any real disorder to things.”

“Most people thought he was insane when he looked up into the sky with a simple handmade telescope and cried out that the Earth revolves around the Sun, because this was four years ago.”

“My parents would not permit ugly language in the house, which was okay with me. I didn't want to learn German anyway.”

“Lately, I've become sort of a fatalist. Well, that was bound to happen.”

“Whatever I haven’t accomplished biologically obviously wasn't all that imperative.”

“Sure, I'd like a child of my own. I'd also like a laser pistol, that doesn't mean someone should give me one.”