“I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.”
Jerry Seinfeld“Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst. ”
Jerry Seinfeld“Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.”
Jerry Seinfeld“Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.”
Jerry Seinfeld“To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.”
Jerry Seinfeld“Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.”
Jerry Seinfeld“I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.”
Jerry Seinfeld“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.”
Jerry Seinfeld“Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.”
Jerry Seinfeld“You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'”
Jerry Seinfeld“We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup. ”
Jerry Seinfeld