“I treat politics kind of like my religion. It's something I believe in, but I don't want to have to make a living at it, because if you make a living at it, you somehow become dishonest.”

“We can't just have mainstream behavior on television in a free society, we have to make sure we see the whole panorama of human behavior.”

“I treat politics kind of like my religion. It's something I believe in, but I don't want to have to make a living at it, because if you make a living at it, you somehow become dishonest.”

“If there's a God why are there such things as famine and The Jerry Springer Show.”

“Who was I to meddle in people’s love lives? Mine was a mess. My heartwanted the one thing it wasn’t allowed to have — love with someone besides mycupid-appointed soul mate. I was so screwed up, I made the dysfunctionalrelationships on Jerry Springer look wholesome.”

“>>How old were you when you had your first kiss?>>Twenty. It's pathetic. Guys don't want to kiss fat girls. >>Not true. There are all those guys on jerry springer, and there's president Clinton... >>Make that: no one I ever wanted to kiss wanted to kiss a fat girl. >>I'll bet you never gave anyone a chance. Mitch says you practically beat him away with a stick.>>I was trying to spare him.”