“I tried for a decade not to feel anything,” I said. I didn’t wipe away the tear that broke free. He’d already seen me cry. Erwin had seen me in literally every humor except perfectly happy. I had nothing to hide. ”Why are you making this happen?”He leaned in and we opened the space between ourselves once more just so he could kiss the tear away from my cheek. You sonofabitch, I mouthed but did not say.“Are you sure it’s all me?”

“I tried for a decade not to feel anything,” I said. I didn’t wipe away the tear that broke free. He’d already seen me cry. Erwin had seen me in literally every humor except perfectly happy. I had nothing to hide. ”Why are you making this happen?”He leaned in and we opened the space between ourselves once more just so he could kiss the tear away from my cheek. You sonofabitch, I mouthed but did not say.“Are you sure it’s all me?”

“Just remember something, okay? And this is neither here nor there but it’s something I really want you to know. Not that I think you have much trouble with this, but let’s be clear: you don’t owe your parents anything if they don’t respect you. That’s bullshit, to be taught that just because they created you and made sure you didn’t roll over in your crib and die, you owe them anything. So what I’m saying is use him. Use him if you can, if he lets you. But then don’t think you ever have to look back if he doesn’t respect you.”

“It wasn’t closure, really. But I’d said the right things. I’d hit on some truths. Maybe some things didn’t get closure. Maybe some things weren’t really worth it, or didn’t really need it, and after a while the unimportance would become obvious.”