“I was going to write a sharp witty email full of devastating one-liners but I suspect you want something nicer than that”

“I'm eating a massive pastrami sandwich. It's so beautiful I might cry. Just so you know.”

“Well then that's our date confirmed. I am excited! Most girls want to know if I have long term plans to start a family; you want to know if I like 80s rap. I think I'm in love with you. Actually, I'm not you have a foul mouth and terrible taste in men by all accounts.”

“I was going to write a sharp witty email full of devastating one-liners but I suspect you want something nicer than that”

“How do you feel about going on a date with me? I'm abroad for another two weeks; you've got plenty of time to prepare yourself. It will be the best night of your life, of course.”

“I didn't know his age or how he liked his tea, I was wearing a terrible coat and I was drunk as a stoat - but this moment felt like it. The one I'd been waiting patiently for since I was a little girl. I'd worked so hard, for so long, at being ok with being single, but all of the things I'd told myself about independence were disappearing rapidly into the cold night. Right now, he felt like the only person who mattered in the whole world.”

“You are the most ludicrous excuse for a man I've ever known - but there isn't a centimetre of you that I don't think is perfect.”

“He walked towards me. My heart was pounding like a nineties warehouse rave.”

“I wondered if perhaps I'd gone mad. I had known this man less than twenty-four hours and already I wanted to raise his children.”