“If you're going to play it out of tune, then play it out of tune properly.”

“I read daft history books. Sometimes the books I read are a bit crackers or strange.”

“My earliest memory is learning to read 'Muffin the Mule' when I was about three.”

“There was a lot of pretense floating around; not just with aunties and all that but with emotions and how people saw you. They had a point. There's a lot to learn from that generation -- the stoic approach. I think it's disgusting how they've been forgotten about in this way. It's the American hippies' fault, they saw an in there, a way of making money out of bad moods. That's all it is most of the time. You can't expect to feel cock-a-hoop every minute of every day. My mam and dad's generation understood this. They were just thankful the bombs had stopped threatening their lives. They just wanted to get on with living.”

“If you're going to play it out of tune, then play it out of tune properly.”