“I'm twenty-nine, happily single and getting it on a regular basis' I said, enjoying the way their thin lips hung open in an impressive O.'Well I've never,' Jane gasped.'Clearly. You should try it some time. I understand Mr Smith is so vision impaired you might have a shot there.'Their appalled shrieks were music to my ears and I quickly made my escape.”

“Don't know. Never let a wolf near my neck." He grinned and gave me a quick hug. "I love you, Essie. Before you came into my life, I had considered ending myself. Three hundred years is a long time to be alone. You've given me hope, a career as a drag queen and a dysfunctional family. I am supremely grateful. Bite me."And because I trusted him....I did.”

“Her eyes narrowed, but she wasn't yelling.I think she liked me... kind of. The way a mother would like an annoying spastic two year old who belonged to someone else.”

“Anyone who discounts you is a dumbass," I muttered as the golf cart jerked forward."And are you a dumbass?" the Pigeon inquired as she peeked under the tarp."Absolutely not...I'm a smartass.”

“Do Dragons eat Mexican?" Hank wondered out loud."Dude, they eat people. Mexican is a vast improvement over people.”

“He said they've literally set up a camp across the street from the hotel and they have signs and bullhorns and the kind of Christian attitude that makes God puke.”

“I'm twenty-nine, happily single and getting it on a regular basis' I said, enjoying the way their thin lips hung open in an impressive O.'Well I've never,' Jane gasped.'Clearly. You should try it some time. I understand Mr Smith is so vision impaired you might have a shot there.'Their appalled shrieks were music to my ears and I quickly made my escape.”

“Do you mind if we leave here so I can chain smoke 'til I throw up so it will be easier to quit?”