In order to break your child’s negative cycle, you must first break your own cycle of negative perception. You must take on a strengths-based perspective. Look for the good, which in some cases may require you to get creative. Do this even when it’s hard. This sends a powerful message to children even when they are behaving poorly. You are sending the message that you believe in them, you see that there is more to them than their bad behavior, and you are painting a future picture of what they can become.

In order to break your child’s negative cycle, you must first break your own cycle of negative perception. You must take on a strengths-based perspective. Look for the good, which in some cases may require you to get creative. Do this even when it’s hard. This sends a powerful message to children even when they are behaving poorly. You are sending the message that you believe in them, you see that there is more to them than their bad behavior, and you are painting a future picture of what they can become.

Daniel Bates
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In order to break your child’s negative cycle, you must first break your own cycle of negative perception. You must take on a strengths-based perspective. Look for the good, which in some cases may require you to get creative. Do this even when it’s hard. This sends a powerful message to children even when they are behaving poorly. You are sending the message that you believe in them, you see that there is more to them than their bad behavior, and you are painting a future picture of what they can become.

Daniel Bates, When Parenting Backfires: Twelve Thinking Errors that Undermine Parents Effectiveness
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Your child’s sense of security is not grounded in how perfect you are, but in the quality of the relationship you have.

Daniel Bates, When Parenting Backfires: Twelve Thinking Errors that Undermine Parents Effectiveness
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High demands and expectations without skill development, encouragement or the feeling of a “win” will lead to resentment. Demanding perfection is exhausting on the part of the person making the demands and on the person of whom the perfection is demanded.

Daniel Bates, When Parenting Backfires: Twelve Thinking Errors that Undermine Parents Effectiveness
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