“It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That's a real talent”
Josh Stern“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame”
Josh Stern“Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco”
Josh Stern“If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months”
Josh Stern“I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear”
Josh Stern“When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time”
Josh Stern“Women are aroused by the strangest things, like a rock going through their bedroom window”
Josh Stern“If you love somebody set them free- it also works equally well if you hate somebody”
Josh Stern